Blurred Lines

Blurred Lines

                We have all heard the song from Robin Thicke called blurred lines. Then his very public divorce to Paula Patton that followed.  The song is basically about cheating but not leaving your significant other just having a good time ie: sex  with someone else. This seems like the theme for many people these days. I am not sure when it happened that relationships were no longer taking seriously. Wedding vows mean not too much too many and monogamy seems to be and old way of thinking. Or is it that now we have so much technology and social media that peoples indiscretion are more public. Maybe it has always been this way but it was a better kept secret. In this year we have heard of many celebrity couples who have broken up because someone began a secondary relationship with someone else. For a few of them it was the nanny, yikes! It is almost worst if it is with someone who is familiar and supposed to be loyal to the family. This was the case for Ben Afflick and Gwen Stefani just to name a couple.

                For those who claim that they did not mean to cheat should know it can be prevented. In my opinion it is always the fault of the person in the relationship. If both are in a relationship then yes it is both their faults. Why you ask because they are the ones who have made a commitment to someone else. The reason being is because the person who has the relationship could stop the cheating before it starts. Yes there are temptations but you do not have to accept them as a matter of fact you can stop them as soon as it starts.

                Lust is definitely a strong pull and for some it can be too strong. Desire/lust is definitely difficult to ignore and if someone is offering to take it to another physical level in that moment sex may make sense. In my personal opinion I have found that those who do not want to cheat but may be naïve to the signs can still get caught up in the moment. That is why they believe the lies. Yes there are lies involved. How else can bad behavior be justified if not with lying to one self and others. Some of those lies can be really far-fetched but still they are believed because no one wants to feel bad for what they are doing even though it feels wrong. Yet I think it may also seem right!

                What I don’t understand and what I will never understand is when the person outside a relationship is belligerent to the significant other of the person you are cheating with.  When the lies they have been told seem real even when they make no sense at all. This has happened to me in my life and it has gotten out of hand at some points. The whole time I am thinking move on leave me alone all those things you think you know about me are not true or real. They are lies you were told so that someone can get their way with you. I get it though we don’t want to believe that anyone can fool us. Yet they have been fooled and instead take the whole thing to a scary places. For me it became a weird stalker situation that continued years later. Move on get a life! I will take responsibility that at the time I agreed to have an open relationship with this person in my life and we were to tell anyone we were involved with that truth. I did just that in my part he just could not tell his other the truth that we were together also. It does become a tangled web for sure!

                How to prevent blurred lines or food for thought:

1.       Tell the truth about the current situation and maybe it will stop the worst that will come.

2.       Know that you may jeopardize you relationship / marriage

3.       There is no such thing as innocent flirting

4.       If you have to keep it a secret from your significant other you may be doing something wrong

5.       Create boundaries and distance as best as you can

6.       If you’re going to do it at least don’t make the whole thing worst for your significant other

7.       Try not to make the whole thing public especially if you have kids, we are not celebrities after all

8.       Take responsibility, maybe you need to break it off with your significant other instead of     cheating

I was reading the tabloid this morning and was inspired to write this. I am not sure it can benefit anyone but it sure will make for an interesting read.

Take care of yourself and each other friends! 

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Atkins vs. Paleo vs. Ketogenic Lifestyle

Atkins vs. Paleo vs. Ketogenic Lifestyle

                Recently I began doing research to find a new healthier lifestyle for my family that would be easy and delicious.  I wanted to find a plan I can follow effortlessly that offered my kids all the needed food groups and my husband and I the optimized healthy plan to maintain health and weight.  That already sounded complicated to me! What I did is look at different plans and spoke to my doctor and a nutritionist. Then I needed to make the commitment to make a change. This was the hardest part of the whole process and took me a while to make that choice. I am happy that I finally did and I would like to share with you the top 3 plans that I debated over and then what I finally chose.

Atkins

                The Atkins plan is a low carb low fat diet that allows choice in foods as long as it comes from the list provided. It has 3 phases that incorporate more carbs as you progress but still keeping to the low carb plan. The initial phase only allows for 20 carbs and has little choices for fruit and vegetables.  The purpose of the 1^st phase is to lose the first 20 lbs quickly.

                The main con I found in this plan was that it is too restrictive for me and not great for my kids who need more variety.  It can also get expensive to buy more of the foods on their plan with their brand. The pro for me was that they have a free website that allows you to track carbs and all other food intake. It is an important tool to have when initially starting to make sure you are on track.

Paleo

                Paleo is a plan created in order to help with various physical ailments such as diabetes.  It basically is eating anything that a caveman would eat. This means no processed food and main things to avoid are dairy, grains, processed food and sugar, legumes, starches and alcohol. Additionally any fats consumed must be healthy fats from seeds, avocados, olive oil, fish oil and grass fed meat.

                Con’s for this plan is the cost of getting specific foods and ruling out other foods such as dairy. I love my cheese and beans so this cannot work for me. Pro’s for this are the health benefits that can possibly be associated with this plan.

Ketogenic

                Ketogenic is a low carb, high protein and high fat type of plan. It was originally created for children who have seizures. This plan allows for more options in foods and includes vegetables to allow a better balance. There is a table that gives patients a plan of how much fat, protein and carbs to consume based on age and height. Like Atkins it initially starts you off with 20 carbs a day and gradually adds as you get closer to weight desired if using this plan weight loss.

                Con’s for this plan is if you do not prefer meats and proteins you may not like this. Initially it is difficult to track but there are app’s that can be used to track progress or you can use the Atkins tracker as well. The pro’s are that it is easy to follow and gives you variety that includes fruit and vegetables.

                I ended up starting the ketogenic diet and have been on it for 3 weeks. It has been fairly easy to follow because I can do it without too much planning. I did have to start doing some meal planning to ensure I do not fall into temptation. This for me is difficult at times but overall it is working well.  My husband is doing it to maintain weight and he seems to like it and my kids still get all they need as far as nutrition is concerned.

                The other thing I noticed with this new lifestyle change is my skin. It has cleared up dramatically and it does not look oily as often as it used to. I have also lost weight on it about 3-5 lbs a week. I have also found low carb desserts and substitutes to help me stay on track. This is pretty low cost and is not too much of a significant difference in my regular staple foods. I have also noticed that my digestive issues have pretty much resolved. Many people on this plan have complained about constipation, bad breath and a keto cold. I have not experienced any of these things.

My advice to you is to find a plan that works and make it your lifestyle.  The first step is starting and having a reason to start. I found that following others on Instagram and you tube that have gone through or are going through the process made a huge difference for me. I was very inspired by their progress and tips they gave were helpful.  I will include below links to my most favorite inspiration and in her words once you start trust the process. It took years to get unhealthy so don’t expect to be healthy or lose weight overnight.

Good luck to your friends! Be kind, be blessed! 

References

Ketogenic chart

http://lowcarbshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/chart.jpg

Keto Karma – You tube and Instagram

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzZwYmKzjd38pHanRwbpy_A

https://instagram.com/ketokarma/

Paleo

http://robbwolf.com/what-is-the-paleo-diet/

Atkins

http://www.atkins.com/

Going Back to School

           Are you thinking of going back to school to finish a degree you started or to get a new degree? Many people are now going back to school because it is easier than ever with online classes and night classes. I recently made the decision to go back to school and finish my Master’s degree in Psychology.  It was not something I decided over night because of the cost and of course time. I have 2 small kids who need a bit of my time. Therefore going back to school had to be planned and my husband and kids had to be aboard.  Once I knew it was possible I then took the next steps.

Time needed for school

           The first decision to make is if you will be going to school full time or part time and if it will be online or on campus or hybrid.  This will help you know and plan on time you need to spend on school work and or going to school. For me it is also planning for work and possible babysitting.

Major/Degree

             Next you want to know what you want to major in or what degree you would like to obtain. It is important to know that so that you go to the school that has the best degree program for you. My degree is going to be in Psychology and I wanted to get a licensure after so I needed to find a school that offers classes that can be used for licensure.

      Picking a school

            Now to pick a school you should look at a few things like location if you plan on campus classes, cost and degree programs offered. I first looked at all schools offering a degree in psychology then I narrowed it down by cost. I am going online only so location was not an issue for me. Not all schools cost the same some charge less or more depending on program. I chose Grand Canyon University because it is a Christian school, regionally accredited, offered psychology degree, courses could be used for licensure and the cost of tuition included 

Preparing to start classes

             Once you have been accepted to a school you need to prepare to start. The best thing to do is get a good planner or download a planner app. This will help you manage your time and make sure you do not over book and meet deadlines. Next you want to find a place you will be doing homework in your home. It is best to find a comfortable quite place so that you will not be interrupted. Lastly you want to make sure you have all school supplies needed.

Buying books

             I am lucky that my degree program includes books but not all do and books can become expensive. The best place I have found to buy books at a good price is Amazon. You can buy used book or rent books at a reasonable price.  They also have a student prime plan that can help with delivery cost. Once the class ends you can then sell your book back to amazon and get some money for it to help with future book cost.

                After you have registered and set aside a place to study with supplies you are ready to tackle school. Make sure to use your planner to help keep you on track and do a little bit of schoolwork every day so as to not become over whelmed.  Take it one class at a time and one week at a time. At first it will be tricky to get the swing of things but once you do it will go smoothly. Remember this is a process so don’t get discouraged and remind yourself the reasons you are in school to help you stay motivated. I find some classes are more interesting than others but they all have to get done. Lastly use all school resources offered to you it will make a difference.

                I hope this help you on preparing to go back to school. I will put the link for amazon and the Grand Canyon University for you to check out on bottom. Best of luck to you! If you have any questions, comment or tips please add them to the comments. Till next time friends!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/student/signup/info

http://www.gcu.edu/

A Letter to all Cyber Bully's

Dear Cyber bully,

                I don’t understand why anyone would feel the need to troll on peoples social media for the purpose of finding error in their life. Yet the error that is claimed to have been found seems only wrong to the cyber bully. Then there is a rant to try and make that person believe lies. Even worst are the motives behind bulling are not always related to the person who is being bullied.

                Apparently this is a thing. It is something that is becoming a norm to society. I am worried that someday it will be accepted as the only way to solve a problem. I don’t understand why the art of communication and compassion is slowly dying. Still the same it seems that we need to adapt to the web and social media because it is the way of the future. I just hope that society stops accepting this behavior from not only children but adults. Yes you are reading correctly it happens to adults. It sounds so silly but it is true.

                 I am saddened to know that our children have come into a world where people will cowardly hid behind their computer screen and try to destroy another person.  Destruction of their character, self-worth or worst their soul which sadly has lead kids to committing suicide. Let’s stop the cycle lets be the example that our children see to show this behavior is unacceptable.

                Oh friends this is a new concept to understand. Still the same I pray for peace and happiness that will allow hearts to open up and the hate to drown out. After all we are all running the same race even if our journey takes us down different roads or paths we need to share this world and make it a better place. I believe it is all of our responsibilities to make a better world in order to see positive changes.

Yours truly,

Your friend Pauly 

Note: If you or someone you know is a victim of cyber bulling please get help. A few tips for you also document, don't argue and do not reply.  Here are a few links to help you understand this is a crime. Also to help you know how to deal with it.

http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/cyber-bullying.html

http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/how-to-report/

http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/finding_common_ground/2015/07/social_media_is_it_todays_modern_day_public_shaming_venue.html

http://www.wired.com/2013/07/ap_argshaming/

(Special thanks to Lulu Salavegsen)

Dog Safety

                

                  Dog safety is important to keep in mind when interacting with any dog but especially unknown dogs. I think many of us forget that domestic animals such as cats and dogs are still animals and require certain precautions. As adults we can read the animals body language and know if we can approach and how to approach an animal. Children on the other hand are learning about the world and need to be taught about animal dangers.

                Over the weekend my son was playing outside with our small dog Etta James and she is in season for the first time. We are new pet owners and did not realize that this would cause every unneutered dog to try and get in our yard. One dog happened to have gotten in on this particular day and we had seen him roaming around the neighborhood before and thought little of it. My son being the sweet boy he is approached the dog and was bit due to the dogs aggression or desperation to get to our female dog.  This was a tough lesson for us all to learn about animal safety but luckily the dog did not break the skin and injury was superficial. We took our son to the urgent care and they gave us antibiotics due to scratch and assured us that there had been no rabies ever reported in San Diego County.

                We now had the task of teaching our son about animal safety. Additionally we needed to make sure to explain that although this dog was bad not all dogs are. We are animal lovers and would hate for him to have this experience ruin his love for animals. Here are a few things to teach kids about dogs:

Not All Dogs Are Friendly

Although the dog may seem friendly as you walk by it does not mean it is. We should not approach unknown dogs. Sometime they are loose because they got out of their yards and are trying to get somewhere and we do not want to interrupt the mission.  Some may have just had a traumatic experience and are disoriented which may make them aggressive. Best thing to do alert and adult who should consider calling animal control if owner is unknown.

Dogs on a Leash

Dogs that are with their owners on a leash should only be approached with the owner permission. Then take steps to acquaint yourself with the dog such as allowing it to smell your hand before petting it to allow the dog to feel comfortable.

Dog Personality and Needs

Dogs all have a personality and certain needs. We dog owners can all attest to that. Children do not understand this concept and see dogs and toys sometimes. What we need to teach children are that if a dog wants to play it will approach us. When a dog is eating, sleeping or in their crate or bed they are in their own space and should be left alone. If a dog is roaming around we do not know why and should take precautions before approaching but it is best not to approach.

Dog Health

Children should be taught also that if a dog is hurt or after a female dog that we should get away from it slowly. We do not want to touch, hit or in any way agitate it but instead contact an adult who should call animal control if owner is unknown.

                This was a hard lesson learned but I am happy to share that all turned out well. I am also planning on spaying our pup as soon as she is past her season.  I hope these tips help you with your child as well. As pet parents we love our dogs/cats but our kids also need to understand their special needs. For more tips or information check your local animal control website or consult your veterinarian.

                If you have a story or tip to share please leave it in the comments till next time friends!

Amazon Mom

              

             Amazon is one of my favorite sites to find anything on. You name it and they have it! I additionally love Amazon prime which gives me free 2 day shipping on most items. The new 1 day shipping is also awesome but I have only qualifies for 1 day once and I loved it. I hope 1 day shipping becomes available for more items.

                What I buy most on amazon is diapers. Being a mom means needing deals and finding efficient ways of getting things done. For me that means Amazon! I used to buy diapers at Costco when my 5 year old was in diapers and found it was a great deal. Back then Amazon offered a plan called Amazon mom but it was not such a great deal and in the end cost more. Since then things have changed and Amazon Mom is part of Amazon Prime. That means that the discounts of 15%-20% can be applied when you subscribe to a production such as diapers. This does not apply to wipes but Amazon does give discounts in general for subscription. Therefore you can go through Amazon Mom for diapers and a variety of other baby type supplies and then just do regular subscription for wipes. If your not a prime member they currently are during a free 30 trail for Amazon Mom. I do not buy wipes from Amazon though unless I just can’t make it to the store. In my opinion Costco is still the best deal for wipes.

                If you have other suggestions or know of better deals please feel free to share in the comments. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that you found this helpful! Till the next blog friends.