Blurred Lines
We have all heard the song from
Robin Thicke called blurred lines. Then his very public divorce to Paula Patton
that followed. The song is basically
about cheating but not leaving your significant other just having a good time
ie: sex with someone else. This seems
like the theme for many people these days. I am not sure when it happened that
relationships were no longer taking seriously. Wedding vows mean not too much
too many and monogamy seems to be and old way of thinking. Or is it that now we
have so much technology and social media that peoples indiscretion are more
public. Maybe it has always been this way but it was a better kept secret. In
this year we have heard of many celebrity couples who have broken up because
someone began a secondary relationship with someone else. For a few of them it
was the nanny, yikes! It is almost worst if it is with someone who is familiar
and supposed to be loyal to the family. This was the case for Ben Afflick and
Gwen Stefani just to name a couple.
For those who claim that they
did not mean to cheat should know it can be prevented. In my opinion it is
always the fault of the person in the relationship. If both are in a
relationship then yes it is both their faults. Why you ask because they are the
ones who have made a commitment to someone else. The reason being is because
the person who has the relationship could stop the cheating before it starts.
Yes there are temptations but you do not have to accept them as a matter of
fact you can stop them as soon as it starts.
Lust is definitely a strong
pull and for some it can be too strong. Desire/lust is definitely difficult to
ignore and if someone is offering to take it to another physical level in that
moment sex may make sense. In my personal opinion I have found that those who
do not want to cheat but may be naïve to the signs can still get caught up in
the moment. That is why they believe the lies. Yes there are lies involved. How
else can bad behavior be justified if not with lying to one self and others.
Some of those lies can be really far-fetched but still they are believed
because no one wants to feel bad for what they are doing even though it feels
wrong. Yet I think it may also seem right!
What I don’t understand and
what I will never understand is when the person outside a relationship is
belligerent to the significant other of the person you are cheating with. When the lies they have been told seem real
even when they make no sense at all. This has happened to me in my life and it
has gotten out of hand at some points. The whole time I am thinking move on
leave me alone all those things you think you know about me are not true or
real. They are lies you were told so that someone can get their way with you. I
get it though we don’t want to believe that anyone can fool us. Yet they have
been fooled and instead take the whole thing to a scary places. For me it
became a weird stalker situation that continued years later. Move on get a
life! I will take responsibility that at the time I agreed to have an open
relationship with this person in my life and we were to tell anyone we were
involved with that truth. I did just that in my part he just could not tell his
other the truth that we were together also. It does become a tangled web for
sure!
How to prevent blurred lines or
food for thought:
1. Tell the truth about the current
situation and maybe it will stop the worst that will come.
2. Know that you may jeopardize you relationship
/ marriage
3. There is no such thing as innocent
flirting
4. If you have to keep it a secret from
your significant other you may be doing something wrong
5. Create boundaries and distance as best
as you can
6. If you’re going to do it at least don’t
make the whole thing worst for your significant other
7. Try not to make the whole thing public
especially if you have kids, we are not celebrities after all
8. Take responsibility, maybe you need to
break it off with your significant other instead of cheating
I was reading the tabloid this
morning and was inspired to write this. I am not sure it can benefit anyone but
it sure will make for an interesting read.
Take care of yourself and each
other friends!
